Lies My Father Told Me

My father's side of the family helped found my home town.  Naturally my dad has story after story of all the eccentrics that once occupied the town.  There was Waxy and High Crotch and of course John Eck's dad.  John was a classmate of my father's and lived nearby.  John's father earned a living by training monkeys in his front yard then renting them out to circuses and parades and whoever else had monkey needs.  As any one who ever worked in the monkey industry will tell you,it's an incredibly fickle mistress.  Eventually the area's monkey needs ran dry and John Eck's dad moved to Miami Beach to become a hotel detective.  This is one of the stories my dad has been telling me since I was a kid.  It's a great story filled with monkeys and hotel detectives. It's never really been far from my thoughts when I reminisce about my home town.  Flash back ten or so years.  I was reading David J. Skal's fantastic book The Monster Show: A Cultural History of Horror, which ties the history of horror films in with what was happening with the world at the time they were released.  John Eck's dad kept coming to mind.  There were many pages written about Tod Browning's 1932 film Freaks, starring a menagerie of actual side show performers, including one half-boy Johhny Eck.  I wondered if he was in any way related to the John Eck of my dad's childhood.  I mean how many Ecks are there out there, plus the circus trained monkeys seemed like a major clue.  So when my dad was visiting for a weekend I asked if John Eck's dad had legs.  "No," my dad says "why?"  I explain the book I read and Johnny Eck.  I show him a picture of the famous 'King of the Freaks.' 
 

"That sure looks like John Eck's dad!" he says.  I'm incredulous.  "You mean to tell me you have a story you tell about a guy who raises monkeys and becomes a hotel detective and you fail to mention he has no legs!!!!"  He casually replies"I don't like to discuss other people's shortcomings."  For the next year or so I tell everyone who would be mildly interested the tale of the legless monkey wrangling hotel detective from my hometown.  Eventually my father confesses- John Eck's dad had legs.  It was a lie.  Which is one of the many things I love about my dad.  Why lie about that?  People lie to cover up embarrasments or for financial gain.  To make others feel better or for themselves to seem more important.  My dad lied for no other reason than that I could go around with thoughts of monkeys and leglessness and Miami Beach in my head. 

Summer Movie of the Summer 2011!!!

   Well gang, it's that time of the year again.  It seems like just yesterday we were naming Piranha 3-D the Summer Movie of the Summer 2010. Now it's time to do it all over again.  It is looking like a sequel-tastic summer.  As you regular readers of Film Frenulum know, we do not usually condone sequels.  We reward originality.  We'll admit there are a few sequels and remakes that have piqued our curiosities.  Conan the Barbarian, Rise of the Planet of the Apes (AKA Rise of the Apes), Fright Night,  and X-Men: First Class all have potential though we're not holding our breath.  I was a huge Smurf fan as a kid, but the big screen version looks like total dreck.  Why take a property that takes place in the olden days of knights and castles and such and update it to modern day New York?  It makes as much sense as basing the next Sex and the City movie in Narnia.  Director Raja Gosnell has a pretty awful track record, having previously bungled not one but two live action Scooby Doo movies.  He did give the world Big Momma's House, so he's not all bad.

  Anyways, we researched extensively the summer's upcoming releases.  One source we used was Moving Pictures magazine's Summer Movies '11 guide.  They preview pictures starting April 8 (technically early spring, but what evs) and run until August 26 (neglecting close to a month of summer, but calendars can tricky).  Taking a page from their book we have decided to bestow our Summer Movie of the Summer 2011 award on a picture that technically starts in the spring.  Don't worry though, we will wait ten days after it's release to see it on the first day of summer.  Ladies and germs, without further ado, I give you our 2011 Summer Movie of the Summer......

 

  J.J Abrams has turned out to be a pretty great director.  He made the only watchable Mission Impossible movie and made the first Star Trek movie we have seen since 1986.  We love the Spielberg small town adventure movies of the 80's and this looks like a fantastic tribute to them.  We'll see, we've been wrong before.  Apollo 18, Captain America, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark and Shark Night 3-D all sound awesome.  Here is the IMDB description for Shark Night: "A weekend at a lake house in the Louisiana Gulf turns into a nightmare for seven vacationers as they are subjected to fresh-water shark attacks."  I'm sold, let's make Shark Night an official runner-up.  Alright, see you all back here next year.  And don't forget the sunscreen.